Thursday, February 3, 2011

Not All Advice Is Good Advice

Everyone seems to have an opinion about the dos and don’ts of skydiving. Because my friends all want to help, of course. Don’t jump if you have a toothache – it’ll make it much worse. If the parachute doesn’t open, aim for trees – you’re more likely to survive. Or, if the parachute doesn’t open and you’re over water, try to hit the surface of the water at an angle of 35 degrees. The fact that Oxford is nowhere near water is the least of my concerns. And did you know that someone once had their parachute cut off by a vindictive “friend” just before they jumped out of the plane? Oh, no, that wasn’t advice – I just read it somewhere once and thought you might be interested to know. Hmmm.... people, stop helping.

Actually, the best bit of advice I received was from TNT magazine this afternoon. It said: as soon as you jump out, shut your mouth. At first, I thought it was to keep the flies out, but then my housemate explained that there probably won’t be any flies at 10,000 ft in the air. But with the strong, cold wind blowing into your mouth, it’ll dry out the mouth within seconds. And probably explains the thing about the toothache too. Note to self: bring lip balm.

A reminder that I’m doing this for Prostate Cancer Awareness Month, which is happening in March in the UK. The idea is to jump out of the plane with arms open wide yelling, ‘I’m Aware!’ I have warned the Charity that, despite all good intentions, there is a small possibility that I will be doing the whole thing in the foetal position.

If you would like to help my cause and think you hold some brilliant wisdom on how to survive a plummet to Earth, you probably don’t. Or I’ve heard it all before and will shortly publish it on this blog. I would, however, prefer your kind donation. To date, I am on £110.00, an awesome figure so thank you to everyone who has already donated. If you haven’t and would like to, please visit: http://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/skydivebee85

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